Dear Daughters,
I have archived all I can.
I can’t hold on any longer or squeeze one more memory out of the belongings and home of my parents and
your grandparents, who are now both no longer here.
I walk through their house almost every day now searching for the perfect thing to hand you that you can
take and store away in your heart.
I am looking for myself too- all while saying grown up things to myself like ‘I have enough’ and I don’t need
I am looking for myself too- all while saying grown up things to myself like ‘I have enough’ and I don’t need
anything else’.
There is no cure for this searching.
There is my childhood bedroom furniture from the ranch that Nonnie painted white.
That bedroom had lavender walls and lavender carpet, and I can’t count how many times I practiced
There is no cure for this searching.
There is my childhood bedroom furniture from the ranch that Nonnie painted white.
That bedroom had lavender walls and lavender carpet, and I can’t count how many times I practiced
Saturday morning American Bandstand moves in front of that dresser mirror.
The estate sale process is ahead which has caused me to look even harder.
I opened a drawer today and there were her silver plate pie servers.
And in my sad sense of urgency, I thought ,”my girls each need to have one”.
The estate sale process is ahead which has caused me to look even harder.
I opened a drawer today and there were her silver plate pie servers.
And in my sad sense of urgency, I thought ,”my girls each need to have one”.
They too must have a ladies’ Christmas party, as she did, and place a silver plate pie server on their
table.
They need to serve milk punch and melting moments and fudge and sausage balls and spinach balls to their
friends who have gathered to celebrate the holiday season .
And then there’s Papa.
I gave Harrison and Mills his compass, and a magnifying glass, and his binoculars.
I have his gardening tools and a tiny pocket knife and so much more..
I also have the red tin roof he put on the little house in the backyard and the two beautiful mountain
laurel trees he planted in the front yard.
And then I replaced those thoughts and feelings with a deep sigh and doing the next right thing.
There is always work to get done.
I love you sweet girls.
And then there’s Papa.
I gave Harrison and Mills his compass, and a magnifying glass, and his binoculars.
I have his gardening tools and a tiny pocket knife and so much more..
I also have the red tin roof he put on the little house in the backyard and the two beautiful mountain
laurel trees he planted in the front yard.
And then I replaced those thoughts and feelings with a deep sigh and doing the next right thing.
There is always work to get done.
I love you sweet girls.
This is all part of life.
Keep a tight rein,
Love- Mom
14 comments:
I can't even begin to imagine. My MIL will be 98 in August! So many memories, nastalgia, in her home.
Laura what a touching post. Your writing is beautiful and it makes me yearn for more details about your family home and the rich lives of Nonnie and Papa. Your memories are sweet, poignant ones I can relate to---hearing about your lavender room and how you danced in the mirror to American Bandstand reminds me of my own pink bedroom, and my red bookshelves filled with Barbie dolls and books. And later, dancing to the Beatles. I can only imagine how it feels to say that final good-bye to your family home. It must be such an emotionally exhausting process from beginning to end although it sounds like you've made peace with it all. Yes, it is all part of life but i'm still sending you a warm hug as you deal with your upcoming estate sale.
xo
Leslie
What a moving writing, my dear Laura, I feel so touched ... this is a moment we all have to live, so painful, but there are some things which are so deeply part of our life that we cannot forget them, they truly belong to us more than any object ... of course, it's not easy to separate us from what we have loved, and you've put together such a wonderful post for your daughters, my lovable friend !
... You're truly such a tender-hearted, wonderful lady, and I'm so grateful to you for this !
Enjoy your Sunday, sweetest one,
sending blessings of love to you
Dany
I went through so much heart searching when my dear Mum passed away. I know something of your feelings.
I think this moving tribute to the love you give to your parents and your girls is something no one can ever take away from all of you. The photograph of your parents is heartbreakingly beautiful. Their youth, their dreams, the fun they had together...what we (I) really want is a desire to stop time and hold them close forever unchanged.
Ginene
Sweet, sweet, bittersweet post.
With Mum in care, I am so very glad that in the early 2000's she started to give her jewelry to her daughters. She saw us wear it for a while and it gave her such pleasure. These days Dad spends part of each day sorting and winnowing. He doesn't wish to leave it to us - such a generous thing to do.
Ugh, this job is so hard! When my mother died, two of my sisters & I cleaned out her apartment. With 9 siblings and 20 grandchildren at the time, we sent something to each person to remember her by. Many things were donated. Best wishes to you as you move through this sentimental journey.
Rita
Oh my friend, you have pulled at my heart strings once again. When my dad passed a few years ago I didn't think I wanted to hang on to any of his stuff because I had so much stored in my heart. So I didn't say a thing as my brothers took what they wanted. Now how I wish I'd claimed a thing or two because his stuff was so much a part of who he was. Take your time, look again and again, it will mean so much in the future. Much love, Patty
Oh, good grief Laura, I'm sitting here all teared up. There's just nothing like this part of life and I'm not sure anyone can ever prepare you for it. What a precious, precious post!!!!
Laura, I can't even imagine! You say it so eloquently though.
I don't have adequate words to tell you how much I loved this post. I do some of the same, though it's a bit different too -- Rick's boys will always know me but never knew my "people." Still -- there are things that must be saved, be shared, be loved and stories to tell.
How fortunately your girls are to have you watching out for them like this.
Oh dear friend, it is always hard to let go! I know that you have memories in your heart which will be there forever! Sending HUGS your way:)
This is a beautiful and touching post. I came over here from Linda's Life Journal because your post title caught my eye. My husband and I are also Nonnie and Papa.
Sweet things you are leaving your daughters. Not just stuff.
My oldest brother called me over the weekend and told me our mother is not doing well. His wife, my sister in love, works in hospice care and I consider her an expert in knowing. She said she is close and has been making arrangements for months now. I can barely stand to think soon my mother will be gone from my vision. This post really got to me because I have the same sentimental soul you do. I cling to the things that remind me of the ones I love so I will never forget what they mean to me. As always, your post says what lies just beneath in the heart and mind, yet is bigger than life.
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