This Could Happen

Be the Next Top CSI in your city Laura ! Press Here!

        Finally.

        Someone realizes my potential, even by way of spam email.

        I could do this. This could really happen.

Here are my qualifications.

A. I can read minds. I may not remember later what I read ,but I can, nevertheless.

B. During the 80’s and 90’s I knew how to interrogate teenage daughters. Example:

Me:  “How was school today? Did you do well on the Biology test?”  “Who went to Mexico?” “Was the test hard?”

This type of questioning is an art.  The question about the party or Mexico or the young man or the driver of the car has to be artfully embedded within other no big deal questions. It is a great technique.

(In the spirit of full disclosure, this never worked. My daughters are just as gifted in not answering my questions.Great techniques don’t always work.)

C. I don’t mind sitting in my car, with binoculors if need be, a bag of doughnuts (or pan de polvo from Celebrity Cake Shoppe), dark sunglasses, and a fancy camera with a telephoto lens. In fact, I yearn for just such an adventure. I may start doing this without my credentials.  Maybe I have already done this…

D. I can create an entire ‘made for TV’ movie scenario out of just about anything.  My mind is a steel trap of speculation, presumption, and dire warnings. My daughters don’t call me ‘the voice of doom’ for no reason.

        Oh well. I think I’ll just work in my yard.  I can always practice my investigative skills on my husband when the urge strikes.  He enjoys it so much when I do that.

Me:  “What did they say?”

Husband: no comment-just intense focus on the television

Me:  “Tell me everything. Exactly what did they say?”

Husband: no comment, intense focus on the television, volume increases.

Me: shouting over the television, “What did they say?”

You get the picture.

My husband is a master non-answerer (new word). I guess his daughters came by it honest. 

                               ************

PS.  Here are two of my favorite questions that my parents used.

1. Have you been sitting on the hoods of cars?

and-

2. Don’t make me drive around with my headlights off.

                             *************